Articles
Desperate Dann as he ruptures testical
Our physio has never seen an injury like it! Blackburn's Dann lifts the lid on ruptured testicle
Desperate Dann as he ruptures testical
Our physio has never seen an injury like it! Blackburn's Dann lifts the lid on ruptured testicle
FOLLOW MY LEAD
Michael Clarke's triple-hundred at the SCG inspired our selection of these captains' knocks
Botha to grab opportunity with both hands
The incredible rise of Mouritz Botha: From carpet cleaner to England's second row blond bombshell.
KARLIE KLOSS GOES NUDE FOR VOGUE
Move over, Elle: Karlie Kloss is hailed the new 'Body' as she poses nude for Vogue
Paddy Considine plans boxing movie
Paddy Considine plans true-life tale of boxing underworld. The Tyrannosaur director will adapt The Year of the Locust, Jon Hotten's account of match-fixing and murder in the boxing world
One Cap Fits All: Dont aske me
ENGLAND ONE CAP WONDERS. While the footballers in the other quiz we are running in conjunction with this one, didn't get a single England cap, these lot below only went one better and picked up the one solitary cap. Some were unlucky not to win more and some were very lucky to win one at all! There are sixty five of the post war players to win a single England cap featured below.....AND WE'D LIKE YOU TO NAME THEM ALL! Every person who emails us here at 2ut@2uptop with their answers, will go into the hat to win a Cultzeros t-shirt of their choice from the players selected below. As a side sporting bet, lets also see who can muster the most points. You get one point for each player named and an extra point for naming the club they played for when gaining their one England cap.........Then when we have all the entries in, we will publish the correct answers and from there, there will be a chance to choose your first X1 from our list of the 65 England One Cap Wonders, and having your name pulled out of the now shabby looking 2-UpTop hat. Only those who have emailed their answers to us, will go into the draw for the t-shirt..........Closing Date for entries is midnight Monday 20th June, so have a go even if you don't think you'll win it.....if you love football, you'll love just having a go....... * (PLEASE NOTE THAT THE PRIZES ARE A CHANGE TO THE ORIGINAL FORMAT, AS IT HAS COME TO LIGHT THAT IT IS POSSIBLE TO FIND A LINK IN THE INDIVIDUAL IMAGES, TO GAIN THE NAME OF THE PLAYER, AND UNFORTUNATELY THE SPONSORS WHO OFFERED UP THE TICKET PRIZES, HAVE NOW DECIDED TO OFFER THESE FOR ANOTHER QUIZ COMING UP IN THE VERY NEAR FUTURE....SO WATCH THIS SPACE. WE ARE VERY SORRY FOR THIS ALMIGHTY FUCK-UP!)
Comedy
This months pics!
Some classic shots this week! Some are offensive, some are downright cruel but all of them are funny....sorry but they are. But before you call Watchdog, we are sorry for any offense caused!
The Bookies
Naps & Nips
Jimma and Razor, and sometimes guests to the bookies like Perkis, Edmo and The Duke, offer up some interesting betting tips, to MAYBE take some interest in and delve into those long pockets....
2UT Tipsters
Welcome to the 2-UpTop Tipsters Duel at The Bookies. Here's how it all works and the points awarded for the relevant odds given for any particular bet................ 0 - 1.49 = 1 point / 1.50 - 1.99 = 3 points / 2 - 4.99 = 5 points / 5 - 9.99 = 10 points / 10 - 14.99 = 15 points / 15 - 19.99 = 20 points / 20 + = 25 points............... ....................................................................................................................................................... WEEK 31: A great week again for Jimma gaining 34 points while Razor was left in his slipstream netting 11 points...................................................... Both tipsters had a mare in their FA Cup accumulators with Jimma just getting the one right with Everton’s 2-0 home win over Blackpool, while Razor went just the one better with that win for the Toffees and also Stoke’s 2-0 win at Crawley Town. ............................................................................... In cricket, England took an unassailable 3-0 lead in the four-match one-day international series with Pakistan following an emphatic nine-wicket victory in Dubai. Kevin Pietersen, who averaged 11 in the Test series, hit two sixes in 111 not out, his first ODI hundred since 2008. Pietersen shared 170 with skipper Alastair Cook (80), England's highest opening partnership against Pakistan. Shahid Afridi (51) and Umar Akmal (50) put on 79 as Pakistan mustered 222 but England won with 76 balls remaining. As quickly as England's confidence began to evaporate in the 3-0 Test whitewash earlier this month, their complete dominance of the one-day matches has reduced Pakistan to a team bereft of answers. It also continues a timely return to form for the limited overs team following their 5-0 whitewash in India late last year. ............................................................................... At the Brisbane’s Gabba, Australia beat India by 110 runs in the Commonwealth Bank Triangular ODI Series, mainly thanks to all of the Australian batsmen who all got runs, except the ex-skipper Ricky Ponting, and with the ball, Ben Hilfenhaus’ 5-for. ............................................................................... In horse racing, Giles Cross became the first favourite to win the Grand National Trial for 10 years with a supreme performance over three and a half miles at Haydock. Ridden by Denis O'Regan, the 4-1 shot - allotted a weight of 10st 1lb for Aintree in April - held off the plucky challenge of Neptune Collonges. Le Beau Bai, victor over Giles Cross at the Welsh Grand National , was third. "He is a very genuine horse who tries his heart out," said O'Regan of the Victor Dartnall-trained 10-year-old. "I would love to ride him at the Grand National but it depends whether the ground suits him." After leading from the start, Giles Cross has now seen his Grand National odds slashed by bookmakers to 20-1. ............................................................................... In the rugby union Aviva Premiership, Jimma won his treble, with the away wins for Gloucester, Exeter and Leicester, while Razor just missed out by that Saracens home defeat to Leicester. ................................................................................ In golf, Scot Peter Whiteford was disqualified from the final round of the Avantha Masters in New Delhi over a ball-moving incident late in his third round. The Fifer, one off the lead as he teed off for his fourth round, had asked those close to the scene for their opinions on whether the ball had moved. But he signed his scorecard for a lower score without checking with officials. Television replays of Whiteford's third shot to the 18th showed that his ball rolled a fraction before he played to the green. Whiteford, still to win on the circuit, was leading the field after the first and second rounds and was still in front when he double-bogeyed the 17th hole on Saturday. It was a happier tournament, however, for South Africa's Jbe Kruger, whose final-round 69 was enough to finish 14 under and secure a two-stroke victory. Spain's Jorge Campillo signed for 67 - the joint best of the day - to finish tied for second with Germany's Marcel Siem. Marcus Fraser, of Austria, and Spaniard Jose Manuel Lara finished three off the lead. ................................................................................ In the US, Bill Haas beat Keegan Bradley and Phil Mickelson in a dramatic play-off at Riviera to win the Northern Trust Open. Haas, 29, looked like winning the tournament in regulation when he shot a final round 69 to finish seven under. But Mickelson and Bradley birdied the last to force a sudden-death play-off. All three US players parred the first play-off hole, but Haas kept his cool at the second extra hole, the par-four 10th, splashing out of grass before canning the winning putt from 40 feet. Mickelson, 41, and Bradley, 25, were tied on seven under going into the final day in California, but they could only shoot level par. Having triumphed at Pebble Beach last weekend, Mickelson's putter let him down for once as he bogeyed three times on the back nine - at 11, 14 and 15. And, with US PGA champion Bradley's challenge fading too, Haas looked set to triumph. Just when the final pair seemed out of it, Mickelson produced the putt of the day on home soil in California from the back of the green on 18, curling one in from 30 feet. And Bradley kept his nerve from 20 feet on one of the hardest holes on the course to follow him in and set up the three-man play-off. But Haas was the one who kept his nerve the best in the battle of the three Americans to earn his fourth US PGA tour title. Mickelson was coming off the back of a win at the AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am the previous week. But the left-hander conceded Haas gave neither him nor Bradley any chance on the second play-off hole. Dustin Johnson's short game cost him down the stretch as he fell away with a final hole double bogey to finish on five under in a group that included fellow American Jimmy Walker, Australian Jarrod Lyle and Spain's Sergio Garcia, who shot a final round 64. Garcia gave himself a timely boost for next week's WGC-Accenture Match Play Championship in Arizona, rocketing up the leaderboard with a best-of-the-week round that included two eagles as he came from a distant nine strokes off the pace going into the last day. ................................................................................ In boxing, Belfast southpaw Brian Magee knocked out Rudy Markussen to retain his WBA interim super-middleweight title in Denmark on Saturday night. The former Irish Olympian dropped the Dane after two minutes and 35 seconds of the fifth round with a left to the body to improve to 36 wins (25 KOs) from 41 outings in Brondby. All three ringside judges had the fight scored at 38-38 after four fairly tight opening rounds. ................................................................................ Dereck Chisora was outpointed by Vitali Klitschko in Munich, but the British challenger showed plenty of heart in taking the fight to the scorecards. Klitschko, defending his WBC heavyweight crown, was a heavy favourite but was unable to do to Chisora what he had done to 40 of his previous 45 opponents, namely knock him out before the final bell. Chisora, 28, lost the fight at the Olympiahalle 119-111, 118-110, 118-110. ................................................................................ In Texas, Paul Williams, returning to the ring after a seven-month hiatus, got the impressive performance that he needed by scoring a shutout victory against Japanese fighter Nobuhiro Ishida on Saturday night in a 12-round super welterweight bout in Corpus Christi. There was no belt on the line in this fight, but Williams, known as "The Punisher," dominated from the start, winning every round, according to all three judges, who scored it 120-108 for Williams. Williams, 30, was fighting for the second time since his devastating second-round knockout at the hands of Sergio Martinez in November 2010, and was following up on his controversial victory against Cuban Erislandy Lara last July, in which the judges who awarded him the majority decision victory were suspended for incompetence. ................................................................................ In tennis, World number three Roger Federer swept aside Juan Martin del Potro in an hour and a half to win the World Tennis Tournament in Rotterdam. The Swiss repeated last month's Australian Open quarter-final win over Del Potro with a 6-1 6-4 victory. Federer, 30, stormed into a 5-0 lead as he dominated the opening set. And he got the crucial break in the second when he brought the Argentine to the net before firing a forehand past him to break for 3-2. Federer's second Rotterdam title, and his 71st on the ATP Tour, takes his head-to-head record against Del Potro to 9-2. It also maintains the 16-time Grand Slam champion's fine indoor form from 2011, which he ended with wins in Basel, Paris and London. ................................................................................ In Doha, World number one Victoria Azarenka strolled to the Qatar Open title with a 6-1 6-2 win over Samantha Stosur. The Australian Open champion from Belarus showed no ill effects after twisting her right ankle in the semi-final against Agnieszka Radwanska. Azarenka broke US Open champion Stosur twice to lead 4-1 in the first set and won the first three games of the second on the way to her 17th straight win. ................................................................................ Phil Taylor hit a nine-dart finish on his way to victory over Kevin Painter in the Premier League in Aberdeen. Taylor was 5-3 down to the debutant but his 11th televised nine-darter came in a run of five consecutive legs as he went on to win the match 8-5. "Kevin was playing well and I knew I had to do something extraordinary to crack him," said Taylor. "It's always the tough games that you do something like this because you're not thinking about it." Painter added: "Phil's a legend and the nine-darter showed what he's capable of. "I was doing quite well at 5-3 up but you always know that Phil can come back. "I think if he hadn't hit the nine-darter I might have got the draw or even the win, but it spurred him on and he played some lovely darts after that." Taylor made history in the 2010 Premier League final by hitting two nine-dart finishes against James Wade, the first time any player had achieved the feat twice in the same match. Elsewhere, defending champion Gary Anderson beat Andy Hamilton 8-2, Simon Whitlock won 8-4 against James Wade and world champion Adrian Lewis drew 7-7 with Raymond van Barneveld.
Naps & Nips
Jimma and Razor, and sometimes guests to the bookies like Perkis, Edmo and The Duke, offer up some interesting betting tips, to MAYBE take some interest in and delve into those long pockets....
Anoraks Corner
The Sophie Barker Interview
This Seagull is flying solo. The ex- Zero 7 and Groove Armada vocalist has just released her second solo album and here talks to 2-UpTop's Jim Powell......
The Sophie Barker Interview
This Seagull is flying solo. The ex- Zero 7 and Groove Armada vocalist has just released her second solo album and here talks to 2-UpTop's Jim Powell......
Reviews
Film Review: WAR HORSE
Joe Marino reviews Stephen Spielberg's film adaptation of Michael Morpurgo's fiercely popular novel, War Horse.
Of the Week
KEVIN PIETERSEN.
KP’s match-winning 130 was the best, as well as highest, one-day international innings he has played to date. That fair assessment came from the man himself, after he had underpinned England's pursuit of 237 all out against Pakistan at the Dubai International Cricket Stadium to ensure a 4-0 series whitewash. England's reward is a degree of consolation for their Test hammering against Pakistan here, and a move above their opponents into fourth in the International Cricket Council rankings. For Pietersen, there is satisfaction on a personal and collective level for a performance which saw England home with four balls and four wickets to spare. England were, for once, minus Alastair Cook very early - and Pietersen responded with a world-class innings, for his second successive century at this venue with a nerveless display of skill against a spin-dominated attack. From 68 for four in the 16th over, and for the remainder of England's run chase, his permanence was the only realistic chance of success. Craig Kieswetter lent admirable support in a century stand for the fifth wicket - but for 49 overs, England would have been sunk without Pietersen. Comparing his 153-ball contribution with all his other ODI innings, he said: 'I'm allowed to say it was probably the best one I've played.' Pietersen's chief attributes were that, in stark contrast to his struggles in the Test series, he almost unerringly got bat and ball - and he always looked in control of a tough situation. 'I like to really calm things down and just watch the ball, and play it. I thought that the total they had, if I batted for 50 overs and took the game deep and batted with a bit of experience, we could come close. 'I just wanted to take the game deep, and I wanted to target bowlers as well. I think that was the key to the success.' Targeted as much as any, although he finished with three wickets, was off-spinner Saeed Ajmal - the scourge of Pietersen and others in those Test defeats. Self-belief was perhaps Pietersen's biggest ally against four frontline spin bowlers. 'You need experience, lots of it, in order to keep the situation very simple - and back your ability. You need a lot of confidence in your ability.' 'When they picked the team and I saw they were going to bowl 40 overs of spin, I was like "oh no!" 'But the hard work I've been putting in with Mushy [spin coach Mushtaq Ahmed] has paid off. 'I'm not the finished article, by any stretch of the imagination. But wow, today I thoroughly enjoyed it.'
DEREK CHISORA & DAVID HAYE.
There's not much more to say about these pair of twats which has not already been said, but what a shame Chisora and Haye can't throw as many punches in the ring as they do at press conferences...........
KEVIN PIETERSEN.
KP’s match-winning 130 was the best, as well as highest, one-day international innings he has played to date. That fair assessment came from the man himself, after he had underpinned England's pursuit of 237 all out against Pakistan at the Dubai International Cricket Stadium to ensure a 4-0 series whitewash. England's reward is a degree of consolation for their Test hammering against Pakistan here, and a move above their opponents into fourth in the International Cricket Council rankings. For Pietersen, there is satisfaction on a personal and collective level for a performance which saw England home with four balls and four wickets to spare. England were, for once, minus Alastair Cook very early - and Pietersen responded with a world-class innings, for his second successive century at this venue with a nerveless display of skill against a spin-dominated attack. From 68 for four in the 16th over, and for the remainder of England's run chase, his permanence was the only realistic chance of success. Craig Kieswetter lent admirable support in a century stand for the fifth wicket - but for 49 overs, England would have been sunk without Pietersen. Comparing his 153-ball contribution with all his other ODI innings, he said: 'I'm allowed to say it was probably the best one I've played.' Pietersen's chief attributes were that, in stark contrast to his struggles in the Test series, he almost unerringly got bat and ball - and he always looked in control of a tough situation. 'I like to really calm things down and just watch the ball, and play it. I thought that the total they had, if I batted for 50 overs and took the game deep and batted with a bit of experience, we could come close. 'I just wanted to take the game deep, and I wanted to target bowlers as well. I think that was the key to the success.' Targeted as much as any, although he finished with three wickets, was off-spinner Saeed Ajmal - the scourge of Pietersen and others in those Test defeats. Self-belief was perhaps Pietersen's biggest ally against four frontline spin bowlers. 'You need experience, lots of it, in order to keep the situation very simple - and back your ability. You need a lot of confidence in your ability.' 'When they picked the team and I saw they were going to bowl 40 overs of spin, I was like "oh no!" 'But the hard work I've been putting in with Mushy [spin coach Mushtaq Ahmed] has paid off. 'I'm not the finished article, by any stretch of the imagination. But wow, today I thoroughly enjoyed it.'