Flip-It Media Cult Zeroes The Football Ramble Yandina Computers Iris Innovations

A drunken menage a trois

"Lukey, Jimma and Dunners all spill their beans together"

 

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Meet The Parents


Lukey (The Football Ramble), Jimma ('Walking In My Shoes' / 2-UpTop), and Dunners (Crawley Observer) spill their beans

 

 

 


The Interviews: Lukey - The Football Ramble

 

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Lukey Moore - The star of ‘The Football Ramble'  

Name: Luke Aaron Moore

Team Supported: Portsmouth

First Game Attended & its Abiding Memory:
I don't think it was the first game I attended, but it's the one I remember most clearly, everything before this one is sort of patchy. It was Pompey's Fifth Round FA Cup game against Middlesbrough in 1992. I was 11, and it finished 1-1. I can remember the bloke behind us saying ‘We'll never get a result up there in the replay...' and I think we went on to win it 4-2 away from home, which for Pompey was ridiculous. We had a good side that year, and narrowly missed out getting to the final on penalties to Liverpool.

Favourite Away Grounds:
Selhurst Park has been the site of some decent drama. Having said that, I like grounds where you can almost taste the history; Loftus Road, Highbury, Elland Road. Those sorts of places. I've not been to Anfield or Old Trafford; I'll get there at some stage though. Stamford Bridge is rubbish, for the record.

Favourite Ever Match:
Any game in World Cup 90, pretty much. The England/Cameroon quarter final especially. I've also enjoyed pretty much every Holland game I've watched; their performances in the group stages of Euro 2008 were simply magnificent. Spain have been nice to watch recently.

Favourite Ever Goal:
I don't get as many as I should, but you probably don't mean goals I've scored. Johann Cruyff once scored this ridiculous head height backheel once for Barcelona. If you haven't seen it, it's on youtube and well worth a few minutes of your time. I think Portsmouth once scored this goal about four years ago which was something like 35 passes. Every time I mention it to my friends, they don't believe me, and I can't find anything of it on youtube or in the press, so it may not exist. If it does exist, it's that one.

Fantasy X1:
I'm going to do a favourite XI in the world at this moment, just to be different. My reasoning for this is that it will literally take me a whole day to think of a fantasy XI.
1 - Iker Casillas
2 - Dani Alves
3 - Christian Chivu
4 - Rio Ferdinand
5 - Carlos Puyol
6 - Xavi Hernandez
7 - Sergio Aguero
8 - Andres Iniesta
9 - Fernando Torres
10 - Lionel Messi
11 - Samuel Eto'o
Manager - Pep Guardiola

I have no idea what formation they would play, Pep would sort it out. Probably some sort of 4-2-3-1 with Fernando up top on his own and Eto'o, Aguero and Messi behind him. Andres and Xavi pulling the strings from deep. Awesome.

Heroes in Football:
Sir Bobby Robson, David Beckham. If we're talking about football journalism, then David Conn, Patrick Barclay, James Richardson, Guillem Balague and Tom Bower are idols.

What state do you think English Football will be in 10years time?:
I could talk all day about this, really. If we carry on the way we're going, who knows? The game in this country is a shambles, in my opinion. We've got people that aren't football people making big decisions at board level in clubs and on various committees and in the halls of power. The problem stems from two main sources: 1. English football's relentless pursuit and courting of wealthy, non-football based investment. 2. The FA devolving most of its power to the Premier League without a decent independent governing body.
At the risk of boring everyone to death, I won't go into all the shit about spiraling wages for average players etc etc etc add infinitum. Ask David Conn or Tom Bower where they think the game is going in this country, and that should tell anyone everything they need to know. The bottom line is that what's happening at the moment isn't sustainable. Something has got to give, and sadly it'll probably mean several ‘smaller' clubs that are/were focal points for entire communities will go out of business, and the ‘big' clubs will end up in some sort of European league. Shocking really.
And don't anyone tell me that foreign players coming to the game in this country is the reason for our shit national side. This is bollocks. And anyone who thinks it's the case needs to actually think for themselves and take the time to look at the facts.

First Single Ever Bought:
The first single I bought for myself I think was probably ‘Ice Ice Baby' - Vanilla Ice, but the first single I had bought for me was ‘Do They Know It's Christmas?' - Band Aid. I'd like to think my taste has improved slightly since then.

First Album Ever Bought:
I think that was something by New Kids on the Block. I used to love them. This interview is making realise how much of a disgrace I was when I was young.

Last Album Bought:
That would have been ‘Crimes of the Future' by ‘Wild' Billy Childish, which I bought in conjunction with Fleet Foxes' debut record. Both are excellent.

Desert Island/Isle Of Mann Discs - What 5 Albums would you take?:
1 - Chutes Too Narrow - The Shins
2 - Rust Never Sleeps - Neil Young
3 - Diamond Dogs - David Bowie
4 - The La's - The La's
5 - The closest Bob Dylan record to hand
......I'm also going to sneak along......
6 - Now Here is Nowhere - Secret Machines

First Gig Attended:
BB King at The Ritz Cinema in Gosport with my old man.

Favourite Gig Venue:
Brixton Academy is decent, and I like Wedgwood Rooms in Portsmouth also. There is this cracking venue in Auckland called St James Palace, which I was lucky enough to see a couple of gigs in.

Fantasy Band:
Vocals: David Bowie
Lead Guitar: Slash
Rhythm Guitar: Neil Young
Bass Guitar: Mani
Drums: Keith Moon
Keyboards: Ray Manzarek


Hero in Music:
Neil Young. He's arguably the best songwriter that ever lived, and simply does not give a shit about anyone else. He does it on his own terms, or not at all.

What state do you think the Music Industry will be in 10years time?:
Who knows? It's dead on its arse, if you're talking about mainstream popular music. I'm not really part of that sphere at all really, I couldn't tell you any of the top 40 singles or albums. They got caught with their pants down, much the similar way the banks have been recently. Fucking about with no regulation and no responsibility, and now most of them can't make a dime. It's quite sad really. EMI was a national institution and it has been bought out by a venture capitalist, asset-stripping firm. People were up in arms about that when it happened, but it was EMI themselves that got into debt to the tune of a couple of billion quid, so what are you going to do? We're talking about a label with artists like Kylie Minogue, David Bowie, The Beatles and Coldplay. If they can't make any cash with that lot, then the industry really is fucked.
The problem is that labels and suits in the industry are getting openly pissed off about people listening to music for free online. I think the reason for this is that these labels are turning out such unmitigated shit in a production line, that people want to listen to it first before they part with their cash. Sounds fair to me. If you like it, support the artist and buy their record, or go and see them live. But there's nothing wrong with checking it out first.
I like music that speaks to me and is honest. I don't see any of that in most of today's mainstream music. I'll stick to All Tomorrow's Parties and independent labels from now on, I think.

Favourite Radio Show:
The Football Ramble is the best radio show/podcast out there, I genuinely believe that. Podcasting is the future of this sort of entertainment, because it doesn't need to adhere to a timetable, or ads or music if it doesn't want to. The Football Ramble isn't affiliated to any media company, and is the better for it, also. I also like Football Weekly.
Honourable mentions to Steve Lamacq on 6Music and Gideon Coe. Swimming upstream against an absolute torrent of shit.


First Film seen at the Cinema:
Think it was E.T. The Extra Terrestrial. I would have been very young.

Favourite Films of All-Time:
This isn't in any particular order apart from Jaws.
1 - Jaws
2 - Raging Bull
3 - Jurassic Park
4 - Apocalypse Now
5 - Donnie Darko


Favourite Actor:
I should probably say something intelligent like Alain Delon, but the truth is it's probably someone like Daniel Day-Lewis or Marlon Brando. For someone who is intensely watchable though, it might well be someone like Bogart or even Depp.

Favourite Comedian:
Bill Hicks probably. If I had to go for someone living, it would be a toss-up between Daniel Kitson or Tim Key. I also like Mitch Hedberg.

Favourite Sitcom:
Jesus, not sure. The Office. I'm Alan Partridge, Curb Your Enthusiasm all feature highly.

Favourite TV Show:
I am a sucker for anything David Attenborough has made, especially Planet Earth. The Sopranos and The Wire are also both perfect.

Favourite Joke:
The one about the barman with the orange for a head. I can't be bothered to type it out, but trust me, when told well it's great. I rarely tell it well, if ever.

Favourite Author: Albert Camus, Irving Welsh, Dostoevsky, Phillip Pullman, J.P. Donleavy... there are loads.

What 5 Books will you always go back to:
1 - The Plague - Albert Camus
2 - The Gambler - Fyodor Dostoevsky
3 - Cancer Ward - Alexander Solzenhitsyn
4 - On The Road - Jack Kerouac
5 - The Damned United - David Peace (the last book I read)


Hero in Literature:
Sal Paradise. Dean Moriarty. Raskolnikov. Raffles, the Amateur Cracksman.


Most money won on a bet:
I have this terrible habit of betting on ridiculous accumulators on the flawed logic that if one just came in, I'd be rich. I have won about £300 once I think. I try to see gambling as a little hobby, and am proud of the fact that I've only actually topped up my Betfair account about 4 times in as many years. But I never bet enough to really make it a risk, I'm too scared. If I win £30, I'm on a high for about a fortnight. There's currently about £60 in there. High stakes indeed.

Favourite City:
Auckland and Portsmouth for sentimental reasons. London is home for the moment so I'll have to say that. Stockholm is a wonderful place.

Favourite Cuisine:
There is a reason that I'm a fat mess, and that is Italian food. In fact, I like pretty much all food.

Favourite Drink:
Non-alcoholic drink:
Copella Apple and Mango. It is the fruit juice of kings.
Alcoholic:
Gin and Tonic. Or a nice cold pint of cider.

Who would you consider ‘playing away' from the missus with? (hopefully with her consent):
Scarlet Johansson. I wouldn't be considering it. I doubt any doubts would creep into my head, if I'm ruefully honest. ‘Considering it' implies that there's a chance I wouldn't do it. I've run it past the missus and she's fine with it.


Who would you consider turning gay with? (hopefully with their consent):
Fernando Torres. Sergio Aguero.
I realise that the list of men is bigger than the list of women, and I am comfortable with it. Incidentally, what are you going to do should any gay men/women take this interview? I guess you'll just have to reverse it.

Hero in Life:
There are loads. My Granddad. Neil Young. Bob Dylan. Brian Clough. In fact, I think I might be turning into Brian Clough, just without the talent.

 

 


The Interviews: Jimma - 2-UpTop Founder

 

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Author of non-seller ‘Walking In My Shoes'  

Real Name: James Waldemar Powell

Team Supported: Portsmouth

First Game Attended & its Abiding Memory:
It was in 1979; a home game verses York City. Even though it was in the old 4th Division, the attendance was very impressive and the atmosphere at Fratton Park was electric and very intimidating. The ‘Pompey Chimes' rang out around the ground but most of the noise emanated from the Fratton End. That's the place where I wanted to be amongst it. Pompey won the game 5-2. Colin Garwood got a brace for the home side and Peter Lorimar hit a trademark screamer for a consolation goal for York. That game made my mind up that Pompey were the team for me and I literally fell in love with them that afternoon. I've never strayed since that day, though they have betrayed me on several occasions and I have been tempted myself, to play away a few times with a more glamorous model; maybe up sticks and get a cheaper season ticket at the Nou Camp. Pompey gained promotion to the third tier on the last day of that season in May79'.

Favourite Away Ground:
I like White Hart Lane; they do some nice bagels there, though I do find that the Spurs crowd can grate a bit with their continual moaning. The Hawthorns is decent ground too with the Baggies always creating a good atmosphere. I also have a soft spot for QPR's Loftus Road; a great old-fashioned football ground. Watford, Luton and Oxford's old Manor Ground are all shite!

Favourite Ever Match:
I should say when Pompey beat Southampton 4-1 in 05' but I was horrendously hungover and there was a tiny tinge of disappointment that we didn't score anymore goals in the 2nd half. So I'd probably go for when Pompey beat Rotherham Utd 3-2 at home in 03' to clinch the Championship after already gaining promotion to the Premier League the week before.
On TV I would have to say two games from the Spain82' World Cup; Italy 3 v Brazil 2 and West Germany 3 v France 3.

Favourite Ever Goals:
Pompey - Patrick Berger v Charlton (a) 04/05 / Others - Marco Van Basten - That volley Holland v Russia Euro88' Final and Paul Gascoigne - England v Scotland Euro 96'

Pet hate at Football Matches:
People who leave the end of a game five minutes early to avoid the traffic. I just can't understand it!? For the sake of having to sit in a traffic-jam for an extra half an hour, against seeing your side hitting a last-ditch equaliser or winner (or in Pompey's case conceding an injury-time goal) is beyond me. It's hardly a chore listening to ‘5live' or your local radio station on your way home in your car is it, and what more amazingly exciting event can they be rushing back for?; more fulfilling than having watched a footy match? Give your support for a full 90+minutes and just remember how much you paid for the privilege of watching the match in the first place!

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly of Refereeing:
I like refs like Mark Halsey, Phil Dowd and Mark Clattenburg, who always seem to officiate with common sense and don't mind talking to, and politely being spoken at by the players. I think Howard Webb is a decent referee too and on his day Steve Bennett is alright.
However I cannot stand the Premier League's youngest ever official, Stuart Attwell. The young fella is an incompetent fool. He keeps making major fuck-up after major-fuck-up but still keeps his place amongst the elite referees, when better refs than him like Uriah Rennie (arrogant) and Andy D'Urso (scared into shiteness by a snarling Roy Keane) were rightly demoted, but have served their punishment and time in the lower leagues. It's probably because he is so young that the refereeing hierarchy wants to nurture him, but the very fact that he is so young and wants to be a referee, makes him a highly suspicious character in my book. Rob Styles is a smarmy twat, though deserves respect for being a Pompey fan and Mike Reilly is bloody useless; put him in a brown overcoat and he would be a dead ringer for a paedophile!

Heroes in Football:
Jimmy Dickinson, Sir Bobby Robson, Sir Bobby Moore, Zico, Steve Claridge, Linvoy Primus, Paul Walsh, Alan Knight, Mick Tait, Johan Cruyff, Jim Smith, Alan Ball and David Beckham.     
In football journalism, Henry Winter and Andrew Jennings.

Rotters in Football:
Sepp Blatter is a massive cunt!

Fantasy X1:
Mine is from 1977 onwards:

1 - Peter Schmeichel
2 - Cafu
3 - Paulo Maldini
4 - Lothar Matthaus
5 - Ruud Kroll
6 - Franco Baresi
7 - David Beckham
8 - Kenny Dalglish
9 - Marco Van Basten
10 - Michel Platini
11 - Ronaldinho
Subs - Dino Zoff - Roberto Carlos - Thierry Henry - Ruud Gullit -
Gary Lineker - Zico - Lionel Messi
Manager - Johan Cruyff


What state do you think English Football will be in 10years time?:
I fear for the beautiful game and especially within the nation that brought football to the rest of the world. Just plain greed from the faceless bureaucrats running the Premier League and the FA are much to blame. I also blame most clubs being run by rich foreign investors who have no real understanding or long term love of the clubs they have purchased. In the days past, clubs were ran and owned by fans of the clubs and were also residents nearby to the community, though were considerably wealthier than their neighbours and lived in mansions on the outskirts of the city/town. This might sound xenophobic but will these foreign owners be around in 10years time? We all know the fans will be, if they haven't been completely out-priced by the greedy clubs. Take the situation at Liverpool which is an absolute joke. Two gormless Yanks who have now fallen out with each other after only a couple of seasons and now childishly refuse to sit near each other in the Anfield stand (when they bother to watch a match). The complete lack of patience shown by owners and chairmen is appalling and short sighted. Some of the most successful sides over the last 15 years have been those clubs who have stuck to their managers (Ferguson/Wenger/Moyes) and have backed their judgment. The public and press cry foul when we appoint a foreign coach for the England job but our young English managers are never given a chance to have a proper go at it before they are unceremoniously sacked (Ince, Adams, Pearce, Boothroyd). I don't envisage the England team struggling for young talent in the next 5 or so years but after that is a worry. Anyone who watches our U21, U19 & U17 sides regularly will testify that there is no lack of depth of young talent coming through in those age groups, BUT will they get a chance at their clubs? I for one would back the 5foreigner ruling in the Premier League and again I plead that I am not being anti-foreigners. Foreign players are not to blame for England's woes over the last 10years; that's been the fault of the pampered eleven on the field under-performing on the big stage every tournament. Players of the ilk of Bergkamp, Ljungberg, Kanu, Henry, Fabregas, Cantona, Van Nistelrooy, Ronaldo, Park, Zola, Gullit, Leboeuf, Berger, Torres, Alonso, Arteta, Ginola, Asprilla, Solano, Di Canio, Okocha, Juninho, Kranjcar, Elano and the likes of the loyal Hyypia, Toure, McBride, Solksjaer, Bergsson and Mellberg, have only made our game 100 times more attractive to watch and their skills and experience can only have rubbed off on the youngsters with whom they trained with everyday of the week. What I haven't liked is the purchasing of say a Macedonian international who is no better than some young English talent rotting in the reserves while the average foreigner is placed on the bench. I completely understand that the foreign squad player would have cost five times less than a young player from down the leagues but that option is not cheaper than developing and nurturing talent from within your own youth team. There is an argument that ‘if they're good enough they'll get in' and I can comply to that theory also. Arsene Wenger at Arsenal has appeared to not too pick young English talent in his side and has missed out on some quality young players who he has sold somewhat prematurely (Bentley, Sidwell, Upson, Pennant) but his argument is that his young English players have not had the same technical abilities than their foreign counterparts and as Lukey has put me right on, many times; in the case of Bentley and Pennant, their desire, commitment and attitude left a lot to de desired. Arsenal has an exciting new crop of extremely talented young English players coming through right now. I'm watching with baited breath whether these will make the grade in North London or be sold on to lesser rivals or finding a career path in the lower reaches of the Football League.    
So basically fuck knows but one thing I do know is that it can't go on like this!

First Single Ever Bought:
I bought for myself ‘Dance Away' by Roxy Music and ‘Are Friends Electric?' by Tubeway Army with some saved up pocket money from Subway in Fareham.

First Album Ever Bought:
‘The Pleasure Principle' by Gary Numan

Last Album Bought:
‘Ray Guns Are Not The Future' by The Bird and the Bee, aswell as the new Kasabian and Placebo albums.

Desert Island/Isle Of Mann Discs - What 5 Albums would you take?:
1 - Brave - Marillion
2 - OK Computer - Radiohead
3 - Dark Side Of The Moon - Pink Floyd
4 - The Joshua Tree - U2
5 - Depeche Mode - The Singles 86>98
...seen as Lukey sneaked one more onto the Island, I'm adding ‘Urban Hymns' by The Verve!...

First Gig Attended:
Gary Numan at the Portsmouth Guildhall in 83' on the Warriors Tour.

Favourite Gig Venue:
Brixton Academy in London is a fave and I love the sloping floor. I like Wedgwood Rooms and the Guildhall in Portsmouth also. In Australia I'm a big fan of The Tivoli in Brisbane.

Pet Hate at Gigs:
Apart from the obvious chatting at a gig (fuck off to a pub for a chat!); its blokes who spend most of the evening trying to take pictures of the gig on their mobile phones. I want to smash their phones into their gormless faces!

Fantasy Band:
Vocals: Steve Hogarth
Lead Guitar & Vocals: David Gilmour
Rhythm Guitar: Gem Archer
Bass Guitar: Geddy Lee
Drums: Neil Peart
Keyboards: Mark Kelly


Heroes in Music:
The two David's - Bowie & Gilmour. Also Gary Numan, Guy Garvey, Paul Weller and Noel Gallagher.

What state do you think the Music Industry will be in 10years time?:
I fear that's it's inevitable that purchasing an album from a record shop will become completely extinct, which I feel is a fucking shame. I know I'm going to sound like an old dinosaur but I love trawling through a record store and even better a ‘bargain bin', though it was definitely more fun with vinyl than CD's, but even the CD format is being slowly erased. Who can forget coming home on the bus with a new album purchased that day with your hard earned cash and hardly being able to wait until you got home, to slowly pull the vinyl out of its static sleeve and then smell that beautiful black plastic. I'm a firm believer that the album is an art form and an actual body of art. Which is why an album should always be played in its entirety and in the track order the artist has so painstakingly deliberated on and finally chosen. I consider the album cover to be an extremely important component to the whole package and so is being able to read the lyrics. I also trawl through the credits, who wrote what, who used what and who's thanked who. My point being is that you can't do this with a downloaded album burnt to your memory stick. I used to refuse to download anything at all and still now I ridiculously refuse to download any music for free but I am now, I must admit, addicted to I-Tunes. I'd like to add however that I only buy individual tracks and not whole albums. If I like a couple of tracks by a band, I will always go out and buy that album. The public are obviously not going out and buying the albums, but are just downloading a few tracks that they like from that album. You only have to look at the number of sales needed to get a No.1 single in the Charts and that's starting to become the case with the album form too. In this financial climate and the prices of CD's I certainly don't think there's anything wrong with listening to stuff for free and then making your mind up, but I would always like to think that I would support that artist by purchasing their album and not finding some computer software to download it for nothing. I haven't paid any attention to the singles chart for over a decade now and I don't think many people do care about them, certainly not anyone who loves their music and take it very seriously. The majority of the singles charts is utter shite and this has been the case since the 60's and two spells 1980-1983 & 1994-1997. I think the bands who are savvier with self promotion and the internet will thrive but still the hard slog of touring is still the surefire winner in establishing your name on the music circuit and in the business, and I for one hope this will still be true in 10years time.  

Favourite Radio Show:
Living in Australia these days I listen to mainly UK podcasts, though TripleJ is a decent Aussie radio station. My favourite and most played podcasts are ‘The Football Ramble', ‘5live Football Daily', ‘606 Football phone-in', ‘5live Fighting Talk', Nicky Campbell's ‘5live News Phone-in' and Radio4's ‘Friday Night Comedy'.

First Film seen at the Cinema:
‘The Jungle Book'

Favourite Films of All-Time:
1 - This Is England
2 - Pulp Fiction
3 - The Shawshank Redemption
4 - Dead Man's Shoes
5 - Layer Cake


Favourite Actor:
This a close one between Robert De Niro and Morgan Freeman but I think I'll go with De Niro as Freeman's sincere voiceovers are starting to get on my tits a bit. I also think Brad Pitt and Leonardo De Caprio are underrated actors due to their devilish good looks.

Favourite Comedian:
Jack Dee just edges Johnny Vegas and Frank Skinner out.

Favourite Sitcoms: Well here's my Top30!!:
I'm Alan Partridge, Peep Show, Only Fools & Horses, The Office, Extras, Gavin & Stacey, Lead Balloon,  The League Of Gentlemen, Spaced, Fawlty Towers, Black Adder, Phoenix Nights, Porridge, The Thick Of It, Ideal, 15 Storeys High, Worst Week Of My Life, Saxondale, The IT Crowd, Flight Of The Conchords, Pulling, Sienfeld, Catterick, Moving Wallpaper, Green Wing, Chandon Pictures, Black Books, Game On, Stupid Stupid Men, The Estate Agents.   

Favourite TV Shows:
Apart from the obvious of Match of the Day; also Football Matters, Soccer AM, Goals On Sunday, IQ, Shameless, The Comic Strip Presents, The Fast Show and Later...with Jools Holland, I'm currently enjoying Dexter and The Wire (USA) and The Gruen Transfer (Australia), but my favourite ever TV programme has to be Auf Wiedersehen Pet.

I caught an episode of C4's 'Vanity Fair' and it has to be the most fucking shameful programme ever. It's basically everything that's wrong with today's society. The only point or anything good to come out of the show, would be if someone set fire to the fucking house with all the posing fukwits inside it!. Granted, I watched the whole episode for any shower scenes!

 

TV Guilty Pleasures: Gordon Ramsey's Hell's Kitchen, and erm Trinny & Susannah's What Not To Wear (me and my mate Stuart would watch this before going to play 5-A-Side footy....does that make it bad or better?!?).

I also have to admit to having watched the 1st series of Desperate Housewives. I'd love to say I only watched these shows for the lovely ladies on display, but I'm afraid I can't!


Favourite Jokes:
Two prostitutes are stood on a street corner.
One looks at the other and asks,
"Have you ever been picked up by the fuzz?"
The other prostitute replies, "No, but I've been swung round by the tits."

Things have been bad at home with the missus. She says she is sick of me! Football, cricket, boxing, rugby, always sport on the telly.
Anyway I booked a quiet table for two last night to try and patch things up.
By 9 O'clock things were ten times worse than before!
She hadn't potted a single fucking red.......

What a result I just had. I got a new Rolex watch for my birthday from the lesbian girls next door. They must have misunderstood me, when I said "I wanna watch"......

Favourite Authors: Graham Hurley, Ian Rankin, Irvine Welsh, Nick Hornby & Frederick Forsyth.

What 5 Books will you always go back to:
1 - Birdsong - Sebastian Faulkes
2 - The Day Of The Jackal - Frederick Forsyth
3 - 1984 - George Orwell
4 - The Great Gatsby - Scott Fitzgerald
5 - For Whom The Bells Toll - Ernest Hemmingway

Heroes in Literature: George Orwell, Charles Dickens, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle & Ernest Hemmingway.


Most money won on a bet:
I won about 500 Australian Dollars in the last Cricket World Cup in 07'. I did a double on Ireland beating Pakistan and Bangladesh beating India. Lovely stuff but the edge was taken off when Bob Woolmer was murdered because of my windfall!

Favourite City:
Portsmouth, though not when I'm living there. London has so much going on and I do like Brisbane, but Barcelona is the city for me every time. The architecture, galleries, cuisine, bars and the Nou Camp are something else.

Favourite Cuisine:
Gotta be Indian though I've take a recent interest and liking of Indonesian.

Favourite Drink:
Non-alcoholic - Full Fat Milk
Alcoholic - Magners with ice, Kronenburg 1664 and Crown Lager.  

Who would you consider ‘playing away' from the missus with? (hopefully with her consent):
Definately Penelope Cruz, and Naomi Campbell, but I'd be off sharpish before she had one of her tantrums.

Or maybe Trinny Woodall; extremely attractive mature woman with wads of dosh, though I'd think she'd get the hump with me lounging around on the sofa in a t-shirt and footy shorts.

Or let's go crazy and maybe PJ Harvey or Siouxsie Sioux.

Who would you consider turning gay with? (hopefully with their consent):
I would definitely consider turning lesbian for Lindsay Lohan and Portia De Rossi. If I wasn't butch enough for them, then maybe Becks, Weller or Brian Molko. Blimey I'm getting carried away here............see the boxing last night?....GGGRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Heroes in Life:
My Dad and Granddad, Auntie Pam, Sir Winston Churchill, Field Marshal Montgomery, William Wilberforce, Lord Nelson and Mikhail Gorbachev.

 

 


The Interviews: Dunners - Crawley Observer

 

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Crawley's finest Journo

 

Name: Mark Dunford                                

Team Supported: Oxford United

First Game Attended & it's Abiding Memory:
Oxford United 5 v Crystal Palace 0 in the 83/84 season (I think) at the Manor Ground. Steve Biggins bagged a hat-trick and I realised then that Oxford were the team I was going to support for the rest of my life.

Favourite Away Ground: Fratton Park

Favourite Ever Match: Obvious but Germany 1, England 5

Favourite Ever Goal: Marco van Basten v Russia 1988 European Championships

Fantasy X1:
1 - Peter Schmeichel
2 - Cafu
3 - Paolo Maldini
4 - Franco Baresi
5 - Fabio Cannavaro
6 - Lothar Matthaus
7 - Zinedine Zidane
8 - Paul Gascoigne
9 - Ruud Gullit
10 - Marco Van Basten
11 - Dennis Bergkamp
Manager - Bobby Robson


Hero in Football: Marco van Basten

What state do you think English Football will be in 10years time?:
If the current climate remains, then either the same or a lot worse. It certainly will not be better because we are not bringing in through the youth players. It's all foreigners and money, which deny the young English players a chance to shine. There needs to be a cap on salaries and a limit to the overseas players to help young talent come through.

First Single Ever Bought: Snap - ‘The Power' (probably - I got my first stereo in 1990 and I definitely bought this single)

First Album Ever Bought: Michael Jackson - ‘Thriller'

Last Album Bought: ‘Only by the Night' - Kings of Leon

Desert Island/Isle Of Mann Discs - What 5 Albums would you take?:
1 - Oasis - (What's the Story) Morning Glory?
2 - REM - Automatic for the People
3 - The Fratellis - Costello Music
4 - Killers - Hot Fuss
5 - Magnolia (Original Soundtrack) - Aimee Mann and other artists

First Gig Attended: Oasis at Wembley 2000, supported by The Doves and The Happy Mondays.

Favourite Gig Venue: The Old Wembley (Haven't been to many places)

Fantasy Band: (had to do some research on this because I don't know enough about who plays what in what band and Duff McKagen made it just on his name alone)
Vocals: Brandon Flowers
Lead Guitar: Noel Gallagher
Rhythm Guitar: John Lennon
Bass Guitar: Duff McKagen
Drums: Phil Collins
Keyboards: Elton John


Hero in Music: Oasis as a group

What state do you think the Music Industry will be in 10years time?:
Don't know enough about the music industry to comment but if Barry Manilow is still going, then it's going to be in good shape

Favourite Radio Show: Mark Kermode and Simon Mayo Radio 5 Live film reviews

First Film seen at the Cinema: Probably a Disney like Dumbo or Pinocchio or something like Ghostbusters

Favourite Films of All-Time:
1 - Goodfellas
2 - Se7en
3 - City of God
4 - LA Confidential
5 - Fight Club


Favourite Actor: Robert De Niro

Favourite Comedian: Sean Lock

Favourite Sitcom: Peep Show

Favourite TV Show: West Wing

Favourite Joke: What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm?
Being raped

Favourite Author: Brett Easton Ellis

What 5 Books will you always go back to:
1 - American Psycho - Brett Easton Ellis
2 - High Fidelity - Nick Hornby
3 - The Shining - Stephen King
4 - Hamlet - Shakespeare
5 - A Time to Kill - John Grisham


Hero in Literature: Patrick Bateman (American Psycho)

Most money won on a bet: £66 on Sol Campbell scoring first against Barcelona in the Champions League final (I am not a big gambler! Only a pound put on that)

Favourite City: New York

Favourite Cuisine: Steak and chips

Favourite Drink: Jack Daniels and Coke

Who would you consider ‘playing away' from the missus with? (hopefully with her consent):
Jennifer Aniston (no consent for Angelina Jolie unfortunately)

Who would you consider turning gay with? (hopefully with their consent):
Patrick Dempsey (but only if it's a threesome apparently!)

Hero in Life: Mum and Dad, Ian Wood and my wife.

 

 

 

 

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